AN OPEN LETTER
MEMBER FOR LA TROBE
PARLIAMENT OF THE COMMONWEALTH OF AUSTRALIA
Denis at The Nature of Robertson has just forwarded to me this clip from a parliamentary speech you have made. Not a good look, Jason. And that concerns me because, you see, I am one of your constituents in the seat of La Trobe. I am dependent on you to represent my interests in the wider world of governing the nation. With a performance like this, Jason, you just won't cut the mustard will you?
They say that every army officer carries a Field-Marshall's baton in his knapsack. Well, Jason, if you have ever packed a Prime Ministerial baton or even a Cabinet Minister's baton in your knapsack you might as well remove it and use the space for something more useful like aftershave and hair restorer.
However, Jason, if you ever want to learn how to really communicate; to not trip over your tongue (and I hope it wasn't because you had been too long in the parliamentary dining room); to do your homework and present well as a representative for La Trobe, just email me at eaglemiss(at)gmail(dot)com and we can discuss what can be done.
It ill behoves me to make such an offer to a member of the Liberal Party of Australia after all they have put us through but - in the interests of sound representation and because we have more than two more years to get through until the next election - I am prepared to give it a go if you are.